Does Skydiving Discriminate?

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

We’re All One Big Skyfamily

It’s a fact, y’awl: the jumpsuit is the great equalizer.

If you’re looking to hang out with a crowd that doesn’t discriminate, you’ve found it. Once you’re in freefall, you’re part of a happy skyfamily that chucks all the silly divisive issues of the world right out the window. It’s pure, it’s awesome, and nobody has to work too hard for it: it’s just the way it is, up here.

1. Skydiving Doesn’t Care About Your Socioeconomic Status.

There are, of course, very wealthy skydivers. That’s cool, and while it’s nice to always have a shiny new rig, unscuffed helmet and late-model skydiving jumpsuit, it’s absolutely unnecessary. Plenty of skydivers scrape together just enough money to make their jumps on the weekends, in scrappy, well-loved used gear, plain clothes, a helmet that seems to have been around since the French Revolution and a huge smile on their faces. And y’know what? Nobody on the dropzone cares.

2. Skydiving Doesn’t Care About Your Race Or Religion.

I don’t even know where to start with this one, actually. Skydivers care about one thing, and that is jumping.

Here is an actual photo of a room full of all the concerns that your fellow skydivers have about your racial background and religious beliefs:

Actually, I take that back. Skydivers do care what you believe.

Skydivers care if you believe the jump went well. Skydivers care if you believe you’ll make it back for the boogie. They care if you believe your new tunnel suit is helping with your layouts or hurting; if you believe you’re ready to downsize your parachute; if you believe they’ll ever nail that head-down dock. They will not, however, care much if you go to a church, a mosque or a Quaker meeting, and their interest in the color of your skin is only going to pique if you get a bruise while you’re swooping.

3. Skydiving Doesn’t Care About Your Sexual Orientation.

Fun fact: Skydivers are 78% more likely than non-skydivers to write “yes, please 😉 ;)” next to the checkbox for “sex” on an intake form.

Okay, fine. I made that up.

Skydivers are, however–and this is pretty scientific–100% less likely to have any opinion at all in regards to what flavor of human you prefer to get romantical about. They’d probably like it to be them, sure, but other than that, whatever makes you happy makes them happy. I’m fairly certain that a homophobic slur has never appeared on a dropzone bathroom wall. Skydivers are just…well…otherwise occupied, by things that actually matter. Like nylon, and high-fiving techniques.

After all: If you discriminate, you have fewer awesome friends to jump with. And who wants that?

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